First Battle of Mordorheim - AAR Battle Report

 First Battle Report in Mordorheim

"The unpayable debt that I owe to C.S. Lewis was not 'influence' as it is ordinarily understood but sheer encouragement" - Tolkien

I didnt plan to interweave Alice in Wonderland into Middle Earth. And I had forgotten that C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien were friends. Both were professors at Oxford and had a literary club that met in a pub called the Eagle and the Child. Their club name? The Inklings, of course. Its interesting to think that even when I dont mean for there to be a connection on my blog, there is one. What other authors were buddies in real life that I could use in Mordorheim? Robert Howard and H.P. Lovecraft were friends, or penpals at least. So yes, on this blog, Alice will be clothes-lining Eowyn in the squared circle while Conan is suplexing Cthulhu on his tentacled head.

Onwards to a battle report! Havent done this in a long while and it happens to be a solo game. I dont have young cousins to draft into my wargames here on the east coast. And while this game should have been done with solo and /or co-op rules, I got lazy. Its so much easier to use rules I know. Plus I made them even easier (see last blog post).

 

Seth: Jacob, you're going to keep going down this road until you get to DiGallo. When you get to DiGallo, you're going to turn this big bastard left, and go a couple of miles until you see a bar called "The Titty Twister". And to my understanding, you cannot miss it.
Jacob: Then?
Seth: And then you stop, because that's where were going.

Alice: Im telling you they were right here. A snakey lookin' lady and her groupies. And they had Cosmo in a cage.

Aly tries to suppress a sniffle and fails.
Istriya offers a shoulder for support as Aly over the top dramatically bursts into tears.
Zorelle uses her ranger tracking skills and follows the trail of snake slithers, while Alice lights the way.

They come upon a dryad and a treekin and ask them if they've seen a bunch of snakewomen with a hostage in tow.

Zorelle: Hello there treefolk! Have you seen any snakewomen around here? They have taken our friend prisoner.

 
Truffles the Treekin Elder: These snakewomen are known as Melusai and their leader is a Medusa. And they are our most hated enemies. They burned our orchard!

 
Blossom the Dryad: Wicked leafbiters and rootnibblers all of them. Just to keep warm at night they made a bonfire of our home. They had roasted marshmallows over the chopped remains of our kin!

 
Zorelle: I propose an alliance. We destroy these Melusai and rescue our friend. And we make sure they never harm another orchard again!

The Treefolk nod.

Istriya: Hi there dryad. I have many dryad friends where I come from in Pinnath Gelin. I like the color of your leaves.

 
Blossom: Its always cherry blossom season for me, hence my name. And my owl friend up on my top branch is Archimedes. He belongs to some wizard that went north to fight in the War for Breeland and the Shire a long long time ago. He never came back so I kept him. They say he went into the future.

 
Istriya: A wizard's owl familiar? Pleased to meet you Archimedes. *owl hoots a reply*

Blossom: He says that if you cast spells in his vicinity you will have a higher chance of success. I know a few spells of my own. Like Tree Singing. And The Hidden Path.

Istriya: Sylvaneth spells! I'd love to learn those someday.

Zorelle: So the enemy is right up this road you say? I guess we should make a plan of attack then. Any ideas?

 
Aly: Yeah, win. And get my pet back.

 
Truffles the Treekin Elder: The clearest way into the universe is through a forest wilderness.

 
Zorelle: Thats nice and inspirational. But I dont know how that helps us in our current predicament?

 
Truffles: Into the forest I go to lose my mind and find my soul.

 
Aly: I second that plan!

 
Zorelle: *facepalms*

The medusa known as Santanica Pandemonium and her Melusai bodyguard are indeed up the road.

"I've had it with these mothafuckin' snakes, on this mothafuckin' plane" - S. Jackson

Unbeknownst to everyone involved, a horde of Flesheaters are approaching. And like all of their kind, the Flesheaters are delusional. Left to Right: Ser Imrahil VI the Strigoi (Imrahil the 6th of his name, the Lord of Dol Amroth and warden of the Bay of Belfalas) and Ser Selmy Barristan and their ghoul troops.
Dol Amroth was razed to the ground by a Southron army and their sorcerors unleashed a virus that turned the inhabitants of Dol Amroth into Flesheaters who believe they are still the same noble knights of South Gondor. They believe the Melusai are damsels in distress and will save them from the heroes who they see as evil monsters.

Ser Imrahil VI: Ser Selmy, a battle is near. I feel it in my bones. Will you fight beside me one last time?

Ser Selmy: As you wish my lord.

 
Imrahil: We should not underestimate these invading monsters. I feel our fate is nigh and our destiny... is to die saving the helpless and protecting the weak. Still we must be brave and just.

 
Ser Selmy: Mi'lord, I am a knight, I shall die a knight. Even now, I feel I could cut through our foes like carving a cake. And may it be a double chocolate pudding cream cake at that.

 
Ser Imrahil: Well said, old friend. well said. Guards, knights, squires... prepare for battle! and pudding cake?

Overview of the gameboard.
The marker token on NE corner shows which crypt holds a caged Cosmo . A PC in base contact with said crypt can free Cosmo. There is also a treasure chest full of precious gems and a mysterious book on the grave under the token.
On turn 4 = Ser Selmy and 3 ghouls arrive. Roll d6, 1-3 NE corner 4-6 SW corner
On turn 5 = Ser Imrahil and 3 ghouls arrive. Roll d6, 1-3 NE corner 4-6 SW corner
On turn 6 = Kyra arrives
And Variable Turn Length rules apply after turn 7

Medusa and 5 Melusai setup in 12" from NE corner.

The 4 heroes, Truffles the Treekin, and Blossom the Dryad setup in SE corner.

Aly, Truffles, and Alice head north.

Truffles the Treekin: Winter is coming!
Alice: We need to stay frosty people
Aly: I will sing you the song of my people

"Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best
And

Always look on the bright side of life
Always look on the light side of life

If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle, that's the thing
And

Always look on the bright side of life
(Come on)
Always look on the right side of life"

Zorelle, Istriya, Blossom (and Archimedes!) take the southern route

The southern route is blocked by two Melusai!

Three Melusai advance towards a wall in the north

Blossom the Dryad attempts to cast The Hidden Path spell on Zorelle. Good idea to protect her from the Melusai arrows. All Blossom has to roll is 2 or better, she rolls a 1. Fail! Zorelle says "no worries" and takes out her Phial of Galadriel.
Istriya attempts to cast a Chain Lightning spell and also fails. Istriya looks at Archimdes who shrugs his shoulders.
Zorelle hold up her phial and the Melusai are blinded, the Melusai let loose with arrows. One misses, but one hits Zorelle who fails an armor save and takes a wound.
Zorelle charges in and only manages to wound one of the Melusai. the Melusai strikes back and Zorelle is wounded again!

Aly peers through the rusty gate in the wall and sees the 3 Melusai waiting for them.
Aly says they made a mistake "If its a gunfight they want, well ok then! btw thanks for the cover..." and fires at them thru the gate. 2 hits and a Melusai fails her saves. So one snake lady goes down. The Melusai return fire, one arrow gets through the gate but Ally dodges it. Then the Medusa moves up and stares at Aly. Aly fails her LD test and will be paralyzed next turn!

Truffles heads around the gate

Blossom: *senses danger approaching* Be on guard friends, the presence of evil wilts my leaves

A Strigoi and 3 ghouls arrive closeby

Blossom the dryad charges in to help Zorelle while Istriya stays closeby to benefit from Archimedes bonus "To-Cast " ability. Istriya casts chain lightning on the incoming flesheaters. The lighting strikes and kills 2 ghouls and wounds the Strigoi Ser Selmy. The strigoi survives the spell but is down to his last wound. Zorelle feels her sword hunger for enemy blood. She hits twice but the Melusai makes both saving throws! Zorelle could've used the healing from the Sword of Erlech.

Truffles charges the 2 Melusai archers and slaughters both! Truffles smash! As Aly is frozen in place, Alice decides to charge thru the gate... into combat with the Medusa! Her charge triggers her rage ability and she rolls 4 attacks of which 2 hit the Medusa causing 2 wounds. But the Medusa still has another 4 health!

Selmy the Strigoi flies up in the air and charges down on Istriya and wounds her. Blossom takes a wound from a Melusai.

The Medusa wounds Alice with 2 wounds which leaves Alice with 2 wounds left. Then the Medusa turns her gaze and attempts to petrify the approaching Treekin but fails.

Imrahil and 3 ghouls arrive on the NE corner

Zorelle slays a Melusai and her sword drinks deep and restores 1 wound to Zorelle. Istriya attmpts to cast The Crows Feast spell, but fails.

In melee Istriya has to roll a 5+ and succeeds! The Strigoi falls over and is knocked out of the battle!

 

(Sorry the pic for the following portion was not taken - editor)

Meanwhile in the north, Alice drinks from her beer keg and heals 2 wounds. Since she is already in contact she doesnt get double attack bonus from her rage. So she only rolls 2 dice which fail to hit the Medusa. Truffles charges in to help Alice and scores 3 hits on the Medusa, who makes all 3 of her save throws!

Aly decides to go thru the gate but instead of attacking the Medusa she maneuvers into LOS of the approaching flesheaters, turns around and fire arrows into them. Aly takes down 2 ghouls. The surviving ghoul shambles forwards as Imrahil swoops down and charges Aly and causes 1 wound on the elf. Medusa concentrates her attacks on Alice and causes 3 wounds! Alice is down to 1 health. Alice has survived (barely) and she still has 1 gulp left in her beerkeg to heal 1 wound.

The surviving Melusai knocks out Blossom from the game. A ghoul charges Istriya and wounds her. istriya is down to 1 wound.
And things are down to the wire, both Istriya and Alice are down to 1 health. Aly is down to 2 health.

Zorelle: Kyra? Show yourself. Ohh she is here all right, she wont show herself. Tell the dragon to weave a mist to hide us.

Kyra: I have walked my way since the beginning of time. It is mine to know which and when. Actually there was traffic on Ithilien Avenue, better late than never though, eh?

Kyra charges the Melusai who cowers in fear from a failed LD test and should lose her next turn but wont live to as Kyra strikes her down in melee combat. Kyra then unleashes her banshee cry and slays the ghoul facing Istriya. The battle in the south is won!

Meanwhile in the north, Alice and Truffles team up and hit the Medusa and take her out of the battle. Aly gets lucky and manages to cause 1 wound on Imrahil. She is great for ranged combat but in melee? She needs some help!

The last ghoul charges Alice and knocks her out of the battle!

Istriya heads north and finds a gap between a crypt and a wall then casts a Regrowth spell which heals Aly back to full health.

Kyra comes to the rescue and scream kills the last ghoul. Trufffles wounds Imrahil which leaves the Strigoi down to its last wound. Aly has 2 attacks in melee. One fails and the last attack of the game is rolled... it is a success! Now for Imrahil's Save throw... it fails and the heroes have won the game with a decisive win with all villains slain.


Seth : [talking about the Titty Twister]  You've never been here before?
Carlos : No. I drove by it a couple of times. It's a rowdy place, it's out in the middle of nowhere, there'd be no cops and it's open from dusk till dawn. And didn't you say you wanted to meet in the morning? Here we are.
Seth : Well since you just picked this place out of a hat, my brother is dead, that girl's entire fucking family is dead!
Carlos : What, were they psychos? Or...
Seth : Do they look like psychos? Is that what they look like? They were vampires! Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits them, I don't give a fuck how crazy they are!"

Aly gets to the crypt where her pet is imprisoned

And out flies Cosmo the Screamer of Tzeentch.
Aly: Cosmo! *hugs Cosmo*
Cosmo: *telepathically* Master!
A girl and her dog (a floaty fanged many-eyed daemon dog)
And there wasnt a dry eye in the theater, who doesnt love a telepathic dog? Yeah it isnt exactly a good "date night" movie. Unless your date has good "taste" in bad movies. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPRGiRD1GG0

Istriya and Truffles gather up the fallen and wounded for a makeshift on-site medical facility

Istriya helps Alice drink some of her Bugmans Beer which heals her back up, while Truffles spreads some healing spores on Blossom.

Truffles the Treekin Elder: Blossom, I must return to Fangorn and collect more seeds to plant a new orchard.

Blossom the Dryad: I think I will stay with these new friends and help them, if they will have me. Maybe along the way I will find Archimedes masters' fate. 

Zorelle: You are most welcome to travel with us We could use the extra help.

Istriya: Yay! We can trade magic spells too!

Zorelle goes and opens the treasure chest and discovers it has gems and a strange book.
   
Istriya: Hey, that book was a Necronomicon. When you removed the book from the cradle, did you speak the words?
Zorelle: Yeah, basically.
Istriya: Did you speak the exact words?
Zorelle: Look, maybe I didn't say every tiny syllable, no. But basically I said them, yeah.

Upon seeing Aly cup a handful of precious gems saying "Oooo shiny!", Blossom the dryad gives a handful to Istriya: "I wish they were acorns..." (Ronnie B's version was better than the original. Also, Rest in Peace Fez Whately. Radio legend. Ron and Fez, Noon to 3. Nuff said.)

 Aly atop her beloved Screamer of Tzeentch.
Beware future foes. This duo is fast and a tad shooty.

------------

Medusa, you dusa, we all dusa.
Or
Hold still, there's a snake in your hair.
Or
Let go my Cosmo.

At any rate, there goes my solo battle report of the new era of Mid to Late Middle Earth (the hour is later than you think, Gandalf)

So Zorelle now has the Necronomicon in her possession, but did she say "klaatu verata necktie?"

Istriya has made a Dryad friend with an Owl familiar nested in her branches.

And that owl is Merlin's familiar. Did he ever make it to the White Towers after the Shire campaign was lost? What was so important about the White Towers anyway?

I dont know about you all, but I really like the Flesheaters fluff even if it is Age of Sigmar. Flesheaters are the most noble unwitting tragic villains ever. Ser Selmy deserves a better death. And he will have many more noble deaths on this blog.

Kyra is a beast in combat, isnt she? But she was lucky in this battle report. She is a heavy hitter and the girls will need that in the battles to come.

As for battles to come, Ive heard rumors that we may be headed north again. To some place described as "the long dark road" or "older and fouler things than orcs in the deep places"

Enough teases... till next time, buddies.

Cheers, 

Mar

Oh and more stats for those that care: Dramatis Personae

- Medusa M5" Melee3+ A4 Health6 Save5+ LD3+
 Turn to Stone: 1 target in 10" must test LD at -1 or be paralyzed for 1 turn

- Melusai M5" Melee3+ Range3+ A1 Health2 Save5+ LD3+

- Imrahil IV as Strigoi Champion +1A, +1Health, +1LD

- Strigoi M8" Melee3+ A3 Health3 Save 6+ LD5+
Cause Fear: target charged by Fear causing unit must test for fear
Vulnerable to holy/magic: test ld on base contact

- Ghoul M4" Melee4+ A2 Health1 Save6+ LD5+
Vulnerable to holy/magic: test ld on base contact

- Blossom the Dryad: M5" Melee3+ A2 Health2 Save5+ LD2+
Tree Singing Spell: Casting 3+, 1 enemy within 3" of a tree or friendly tree folk (dryad etc) take 1 wound
The Hidden Path Spell: Casting 3+, Remains in play, one target in 18" is immune to non-magical range atacks and treats all terrain as clear
Archimedes the Owl Familiar: friendly spellcasters in 6" have +1 to casting rolls

- Truffles the Treekin Elder: M5" Melee3+ A3 Health4 Save4+ LD3+
Flammable: vulnerable to Fire 1 wound damage counts as 2 damage
Hard Bark: included in save stat

- Kyra, the Bansheee: M6" Melee 4+ A1 Health3 Save0 LD4+
Ghostly Howl: 1 target in 8" range, no LOS necessary suffer 1 wound automatically per turn
Cause Fear: target charged must LD test for fear
Ethereal: all terrain is considered clear terrain

- Cosmo: M16" Melee3+ A1 Save5+ Health3 LD3+
Slashing Attack: Can make a free and immediate Melee attack on one enemy that is flown over during movement phase


Songs for this battle report? Lots of cheesy 80s heavy metal including:
Last in Line by Dio  (because "we're off to the witch") https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=360xvnsduDg
Gorgon by Angel Witch  (because Gorgon, duh) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgyVjc88vhA
Hordes of Chaos by Kreator (not 80s and is actually Thrash)  (for the epic music video, though super cheese Dio video is more authentic)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEK-2GbgUAo