The Awakening Dream-Time of the Woses
OR
The Dreamquest for Unknown Kadath
OR
The Valar Must Be Crazy
Hiya buddies! I'd been busy for a month or so with commission paintwork. This time for a museum! Well pardon me, Mr fancy-pants. But if you are ever in the neighborhood of Sheridan Wyoming, drop by the Museum at the Bighorns and the Rosebud Diorama has figures painted by your buddy pal Mars Minis. Im happy to leave behind some legacy in this world, some mark on the cave wall that says "I was once here!"
I didnt plan this post's content to coincide with Amazon's Rings of Power. Im just doing my own thing, like as I always have. What does this blog and Mr Bezos' billion dollar project have in common - making our own versions of Middle Earth, of course. Well, I have been watching the Rings of Power series and here are my thoughts in a nutshell...
Twist #1, Gimli is female! (Female Dwarves do have beards, right? So who can tell?) Twist #2, Gimli is pregnant! Twist #3, Legolas is gay. (OK, we all saw that one coming. Twist #4, Gimli is pregnant with Legolas' child! But seriously, Rings of Power sucks. IMHO. Sorry, but it sucks. And it has nothing to do with "wokeness" or powerful women or the racial equity in every fantasy race and nation (its the sign of our times)... Rings of Power is just plain terrible storytelling. It feels like a bunch of cosplayers improv acting a bad fan-fic story at an open mic night. Amazon goes to prove the old adage - money cant buy everything. But isnt the Moria Reclamation Blog the same thing, I hear you say? Well I suppose I am writing fan-fic of some sort, but really its just words to accompany my gaming. (Thats my excuse anyway.) But also... I KNOW that what Im doing IS a parody. It says so, right on the tin! Look at the side bar, its over there on the left "The Moria Reclamation Project is a narrative wargame campaign set in a wacky Monty Python-esque version of the Mines Of Moria. Its a mishmash of Warhammer, Dungeons & Dragons, and the Lord of the Rings."
So, TLDR, Amazon could have spent more time on the writing of the script and dialogue. Also, I had a Hobbit herbologist named Poppy before Amazon had their Poppy! I have more emotional investment in not-Conan and his pet dino in Tartakovsky's "Primal" than anyone in Rings of Power. Its animated with no spoken parts! Ok, the black elf in Rings is pretty cool, but they shouldve just made a Drizzt Do'Urden movie instead.
Like I said earlier, Im just doing my own thing, like I always have. Im not making the Woses dark skinned because of wokeness. I do think in actual Tolkien canon, the Woses are probably light skinned westerners of some sort - maybe like Pictish pygmies? But in my imaginary campaign, this particular branch of aboriginal tribal peoples are from the Southlands.
OK, enough with the disclaimers... on with the post!
The Druedain (not to be confused with Dunedain!), aka the Woses, aka the Pukelmen.
They are tribal peoples who are close to nature and can be found in forests like Druadan Forest at the border of Gondor and Rohan. Or in the Druwaith Iaur near Andrast in Southern Gondor.
Woses carry bows to hunt wild game for food. The Woses think everyday should be a celebration and celebrations always needs to have a roast pig on a stick over an open fire.
As an aside, Istriya the Witch of Pinnath Gelin is from that part of
the world. Perhaps she knows of them? She has dryad friends, maybe
she also knows of the Woses in those forests.
Now this particular tribe of Woses are darker skinned than the ones in Druadan or Druwaith because
they are from Harondor which is north of Umbar and south of Lebenin in
Gondor.
Another aside... Baron Orson is the Baron of Lebenin. Another
suspected character in our blog who might have come across theWoses.
Not long ago, a pilot threw out his glass Coke bottle from his propeller plane and it landed in a Wose village. While the natives found many beneficial uses with it, they also found that this modern technology also brought on modern woes - like jealousy over its use. Ultimately leading to it being used as a club when one lady didnt want to share it with another. (The Prime Directive was breached!) Their once happy village was now sullied by the thoughtless littering of civilized man's garbage. Much like the One Ring, the Woses found that power corrupts absolutely and have sent a fellowship of their own on a quest to return this mighty artifact to whence it came. Thus begins the saga of "The Valar Must Be Crazy".
Mi seh one ting Nancy kyaahn understand
One ting Nancy kyaahn understand
Wha mek dem a taak bout mi ambition?
Seh, what makes dem a taak bout mi ambition?
Some a dem a aks mi weh mi get it fram
Some of them ask me where me get it from
A chuu dem nuh know it's fram creation
A chuu dem nuh know it's fram creation
Bam bam, ey, What a bam bam
I never troubled no one
Em see is my ambition
I come fi nice up Jah may can
Ey what a bam bam, said what a bam bam
A chance meeting on the cultural crossroads... between the Woses on their quest and the easterling delegation known as the House of Red Dragons. (Oh and also I didnt name House of Red Dragons to coincide with House of the Dragon on HBO! Which reminds me... Im loving Elric Melnibone on that show.
That helm on Doctor Who #11 is great. Someone just do Moorcock already
for Lord Arioch's sake!)
Wose Chief: *complaining in his native language*
Iron Dragon: Not sure what he is saying, but Im thinking it has to do with the Coke bottle in his hand.
Lady Snow Blossom: Maybe he wants to recycle it? Tribal peoples ARE environmentally friendly. Then again, maybe he wants to know where the closest 7-Eleven is to get a refill?
The Woses are debating whether Kyubee the Kirin is good for eating.
The last surviving Gondor knight escorting the House of Red Dragons and one of the Rohan archers make friends with the Woses. See the Battle of Rhun Wald http://mars-miniatures.blogspot.com/2022/06/the-battle-of-rhun-wald.html
Buying bread from a man in Brussels
He was six foot four, and full of muscle
I said, "Hey, do you speak-a my language?"
He just smiled and gave me a Vegemite sandwich
And he said...
~~~
Edit: Totally forgot to circle back to the reference to Lovecraft in the post's title. Prepare to be underwhelmed!
Aboriginal
Australians go on Walkabouts aka Vision Quests aka the "Dreaming". I
dont know too much about it, but my guess its some kind of spiritual
nature/soul quest while living off the land in a migratory fashion? Im
thinking a road trip movie but with walking and camping.
Tcho
Tcho (Lovecraft's sinister tribal asians) are like Woses but have succumbed to the
Mythos dreams (think Burmese Gollum, or try not to!).
Strange
Horizons did an article about the connection in Aboriginal Lovecraft
here:
http://strangehorizons.com/non-fiction/articles/aboriginal-lovecraft/
But anyway, in my campaign these Woses are still primarily good natured. If they stay that way... who knows? All we should know is that their ancestral "Dreaming" gods are calling them to take a larger part in the global troubles brewing in Middle Earth. If the Free Peoples are to survive, they need everyone to help out, both the great and the small. Im looking at you Hobbits and Woses to save the day!
Next post: Orcs!
