Mad Alice and the Gates of Mordorheim

I havent yet run a game for Mordorheim but I know what rules to use thanks to my first game with Mr Joe P. and his friends Steve and Peter. Im talking of course about Sellswords and Spellslingers. Joe ran a Conan scenario based on those rules that was very thematic and immersive.  As Im writing this very blog post, I get an email that Joe has blogged about that Conan game on his blog: https://miniaturescrum.blogspot.com/2021/08/co-operative-conan-with-sellswords.html

What fortuitous timing! And it was my pleasure to game with them. A great game and I regret losing both Valeria and the pet dog we found. But what a hero dog he was, biting a sabretooth tiger in its rear end and distracting it for our heroes to do their hero-ing.

Im also working on a variant of those rules because of that Conan game. 

Im going to call it Sellswords & Shoggoths.  Or perhaps Shoggoths & Starspawn?

Either way its going to be Mordorheim on this blog. Any game I play on this blog going forwards that is skirmish based IS Mordorheim. I know it should be Mordheim rules I should run. But Im totally sold on Sellswords. I lost my PC due to a crash about 2 years ago and I didnt back it up for years. So I lost alot of rules and on top of which I sold all my physical rulebooks and most minis as well. But I did buy sellswords on RPGnow or drivethru, so I could dl it again! I also have Nightwatch rules which I might incorporate parts of into my frankenstein rules set.  They still need work.

In the meantime lets introduce the last member of our burgeoning adventuring mercenary party - The Sisters of Merciful Fate! Thats right, on their off time in the pub they play as a all-girl goth/metal band.

Ladies and gentlemen, on stage we have the drummer of the Sisters of Merciful Fate.... Mad Alice!!!

Mad Alice is also known as the Mad Mistress of Laketown. Yes the place that Smaug burned down in the late troubles before the big troubles. Its not like she owns the town though, she just comes from there. But who knows, that age was so long ago that its not far fetched that Alice might be a descendant of Bard the Bowman, the Dragon Slayer.

With her trusty lantern, Alice has explored the Tulgey Wood and the Rabbit-hole south east of Laketown. Some say her adventures were wonderful. You could even say it was a virtual "wonderland". She has faced down Jub Jub birds and Bandersnatches. She has talked to the talking animals in the rightly named Village of Talking Animals. And tripped the light fantastic in the Fungal Forest with the friendly Mushroom-Men. She even had a Cheshire Cat as a companion, until it met a terrible accident by a land-sled pulled by rabbits! Oh that dastardly Radagast and his drunk driving antics! But who can blame him, Bugmans Brew at happy hour?

Speaking of which... Alice carries a keg of some sloshy liquid at her back. Radagast gave it to her as recompense for the tragic accident. She has never taken a sip of it, in memory of the Cheshire Cat. So broken-hearted was Alice that she swore never to drink from it or to ever love another pet again. Those things die, they do! Some one approaches! An elf! To arms... Fear fire foe! Oh its just...

Alice: Aly, its just you. For a second I thought you were a Jub Jub bird.

Aly: Oooh, I like Jub Jub Birds. I hear they make great p...  oh sorry Alice I almost said the "P" word  (editor: pets)

Alice: Speaking of the "P" word... I found your p... Cosmo. He is being held captive in Mordorheim not far from here by a snakey witch of some sort.

Aly: We must save him before he is sacrificed to the Elder Gods, or the Chaos Gods, or worse...  the God of Hunger... supper!

Zorelle: Istriya this is Alice, our scout explorer and official lantern bearer. Alice meet Istriya, our latest mercenary. 

Istriya: Hello! Oh... I sense magic on you. That Keg of ale... has a ancient spell cast upon it!

Alice: My keg of Ruin.... its nothing.

Istriya: It has a Greater Spell of Holding. It holds a far greater volume than can be guessed at by looking at it. And something else... something powerful and ancient...

Alice: Radagast says it once belonged to someone called Buggyman or something. An ancient brewer of some sort. I swore to never drink from it in memory of my lost p...

Istriya: Bugman! He is a famous Dwarf Hero! And that might be the famous lost "Keg Of Bugman". Its said to contain the last remaining Brew of Power. It has the distilled essence of The One Ring of He Who Will Not Be Named.

Alice: Valdemort?

Istriya: NO the other Dark Lord...

Alice: Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith?

Istriya: (facepalms) NO. Sauron! The Dark Lord - Sauron of Mordor!

Alice: Shhhh! Not when we are so close to Mordor.... we are in its shadow. The Ephel Duath!  And the place where we must go to save Aly's p... Cosmo.

Istriya: One does not simply walk into Mordor. The very air you breathe...

Aly: Oh, its fine! the Weiland-Yutani Corporation installed a atmosphere processing unit on LV 246.

Zorelle: With a loan from the Tyrell Corporation, I might add.

Istriya: There were colonists on LV-246! Families... Burke... and you signed the papers!~

All: Who is Burke?

Istriya: The guy from Mad About You...

All: Ohhhh...

Aly: You again!

Strange Apparition: Yeah you know the deal. Lady Alice, you now own Laketown, its monthly, and...

All: ?

Kyra the Strange Apparition of Ost-In-Edhil: Can I join your mercenary troop? Im tired of being the bearer of bad news. I need a career change!

Zorelle: Sure, we could use a Banshee where we are going! Now only if we could get a whole shipful of undead spirits who swore an oath to the Black Stone of Erlech...

All: If only....

Kyra of Ost-In-Edhil: Well maybe next adventure. I first have to give my 2 week notice to Gringotts. Those gobbos are real sticklers for paperwork and doing things by the book.

So off they go adventuring...

They reach a crossroads.

Istriya: Alice, bring your light over here, there is writing on the statue.

Istriya: Abandon hope all ye who enter here...

Alice: What that last bit written there?

Istriya: Take a penny, leave a penny...

Alice: And over there?

Istriya:  Samwise was here... Pippin was mission quest thing here too!

Alice: Damn graffitti hooligans!

So our four ladies stand before the Gates of Mordorheim, feeling an uncertain coldness chilling their very bones.

Alice: I think its time to break open this keg and have a swill or two of this brew.

All: Zyor Round!!!

 ~~~~~~~

 Alice carries the last Bugmans Brew in Middle Earth. Word has it that it is distilled and bottled from the freshest water on any side of the Misty Mountains. From the very wellsprings of Fangorn Forest. Careful girls, the waters of Treebeard's Ent-Draught might make you gain in inch or 3 in height! Ask those pesky Hobbits! (Good excuse for the scale creep of these Kingdom Death minis!)

Also note my new game mat from DeepCut Studios. Its pretty fab, if you like need haunted desolate landscapes. And of course the famous GW Garden Of Morr terrain. (I dont recall their new fangled Age of Sigmar name). Oh and my handmade custom foamboard that I painted. Yeah, its not that great. I made it really fast for this post. I will make a better one for the next post which I hope will be a battle report. Oh actually, I might post my latest work on Shoggoths & Star-Spawn.

So there is the intro to Mordorheim... cheers ladies,

Mar