The Battle of Knackerton Prison Camp, Part 3

The conclusion to the Battle of the Knackerton Prison Camp!

Rattlebones stands victorious on a heap of dead Orcs.Oh, he's strong, this kid. He's tempered friggin' steel.

But another wave of enemies approach. But this time, its 2 Bugbears and 2 Orcs!

As the battle with the Bugbears continues, even more Orcs arrive from the eastern canyon!

Azrogorgon the DemonLord of Beasts arrives! His two heads seem to be in the middle of a conversation.

Monkeyhead #1: One door leads to the center of the labyrinth and the other one leads to... certain death.

Monkeyhead #2: One of us always tells the truth and one of us always lies. Thats one of the rules. *points and whispers* He always lies.

Both Monkeyheads: Oh nevermind! There's heroes here that need eating! Its feeding time! Monkey house! Ooo! OOO! Ooo!

The eagles are coming!  Oh, no its just the Woses. What?! The Woses are coming! Woo hoo! Looks like Goldberry's telepathic summons for help got to somebody afterall.

Wose Chief : *speaking in tribal Wose* See? The Valar arent crazy after all! The voice in my head WAS real.  We must help these people and that lady on the white horse! She must be one of the Valar that spoke to me.

Goldberry *mutters under her breath* Impersonating deities is not ideal, and I have no golden droid to levitate around to impress the natives *clears throat and gives her best impression of a royal decree* Woses! Hear me! Slay the orcs, save the Hobbits!

Woses lives matter, but not for this scenario's victory conditions. For a Hero Victory, at least 7 hobbits must escape via teleport and at least half the heroes.

Wose Chief: *speaking in tribal Wose* No worries, mate. Woses infiltrated themselves in, we can exfiltrate ourselves out. Still, it kinda hurts to be excluded from the victory conditions, doesnt it?

Some Woses take out the Orcs chasing the Hobbits.

Scout Master Hotpie: Thanks for your timely arrival!

Wose: *speaking in tribal Wose*

Scout Master Hotpie: *speaking slowly and enunciating* Thank... you... for... your... help...

Wose: *speaking in tribal Wose*

Scout Master Hotpie: Ok, they dont speak Common. Here... *hands a Pie to the Wose*

Wose: *excitedly speaking in tribal Wose*

Scout Master Hotpie: Food. Its the universal language!

The Tomb King Mummy is slain by Sir Solaire and the Woses.

The Wose Chief escorts the heroes to the Tele-Port-Key statue

Some Woses get to the high ground to get lines of sight for their bow fire. An Orc climbs up as well and gets an arrow in his face for his effort!

Another Wose takes out an Orc headed for Xanthia the Ice Witch at the statue. How did that Orc get past our defenses!

More Orcs assault the high ground! One Orc gets revenge on a Wose. The battle for the overlook cliffs is on!

Orc: Come and play with us, Woses.  Little pigs, little pigs, let me come in. Not by the hair of your chiny-chin-chin? Well then I'll huff and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house in.

Alpha slays a Bugbear. The other Bugbears are wary of charging Goldberry.

Alpha: That'll teach ya. And next time, put some goshdarn pants on!

The Woses have escorted the Hobbits to the statue with a waiting Xanthia.

Turnips the Hobbit Witch: Get to da choppa! And dont forget to free the baby dragon from the east cellblock!

Xanthia: Its about time! Ive been holding this spell at the ready and my hands are cramping! Hurry up! Get everyone in range of the teleport zone! (6" area of effect from statue base)

Alpha uses a Disintegration Bolt and fries two orcs up high. The shot rips through one Orc and hits the other orc behind him! The both disappear in a shower of sparkly particles!

Alpha: Ive been waiting so long for my Disintegration Bolts to actually hit something! The payoff was worth the wait.

The Woses above give a Shaka (hang loose) handsign in thanks to Alpha.

Goldberry fails two saves and has 1 wound left!

Goldberry: This is just like the last game I was in. Im almost always on the verge of certain death! Is it because of my sparkly horse? Or my pretty dress? I think it might be that my horse  and I have matching horn accessories. Evil hates us, because they aint's us...

Kano and Zoltar herd the Hobbits, the Woses, and everyone else into the extraction zone.

Xanthia: Is this everyone?! I dont know how much longer I can hold this spell.

Kano: Not yet!  We just need a few more Hobbits...

Zoltar: Its a tight fit. Hobbits, tuck in your bellies and make more room for everyone!

Azrogorgon rounds the corner and everyone stares at him in silence. Even the Orcs and Bugbears are quietly watching.

Rattlebones is the closest hero.

It falls to him to make the ultimate sacrifice...

Rattlebones: Dont count me out just yet...

And with a sound thrashing of his tentacles, Azrogorgon easily knocks out Rattlebones...

Rattlebones: *weakly mumbling* ok... count me... out...

Rattlebones has bought the heroes the time they needed to escape. 5 hobbits in, 6... 7! Thats it, victory conditions are achieved!

Azrogorgon sees Goldberry and the two have a moment.

Goldberry: You've lost this game, Demonlord. Sometimes the truth is painful, but its made your cheeks all rosy and your eyes as bright as stars.

Azrogorgon: You are harboring known terrorists. Give them back and I wont hunt you for all eternity.

Goldberry: You were going to enlave these innocent Hobbits!

Azrogorgon: Its our job to cull Hobbits. Their population grows exponentially. You know... they eat 6 meals a day, not counting snacks? Its an awful number of chickens. Its a chicken apocalypse. Every. Day. And if it isnt chickens, its anything they can eat - which is everything! The world isnt big enough to fill their Hobbit bellies. Since you heroes wont make the hard choices, for the sake of the planet. Mordor will.

Goldberry: Im sure we will find a way to solve this Hobbit problem. Without having resort to barbarism. Lets just agree to disagree... *turns to Xanthia* Alrighty, Ice Witch, beam us out of here!

Xanthia: About time... I hope this works.

And all the remaining heroes, Hobbits and Woses in the zone vanish in a flash of light...

Azrogorgon: So, you have chosen... death.

There are 2 Hobbits and 3 Woses that didnt get to the teleport zone, but that ok. The victory conditions were met. These fellows will have to trek their way back to safety.

Woses: Come hobbits, this way... Woses show you the sneaky secret paths through the swamps.

Hobbit: Did I just understand this Wose? You can talk in the Common all this time? I knew it! Oh very sneaky...

The Woses just shake their heads and chuckle.

Azrogorgon: Some heroes, eh? Those fools forgot to free you, baby blue dragon!

Baby Blue Dragon: *whimpers*

Hellgirl Luka: Thank the Balrogs! At least I still got my pet dragon!

~~~

So Stroika passes her survival roll, but Rattlebones... fails! Its permadeath for poor Rattlebones! Still, he died a good death.

So there you have it. The battle of the Prison Camp, obviously, was inspired by Uncommon Valor. And Rattlebones, I guess was Sailor. And Rattlebones, like Sailor, went out like a warrior. Thats him kungfu dancing at the end with his potbelly hanging out.

Im going to have to start merging hero teams or painting up new models. Theres been alot of hero deaths lately... which is a good thing, I need to wittle down the unpainted miniature pile of shame. And theres plenty of Tom Meier Dark Sword Minis still to collect and paint up!

Oh and in honor of Rattlebones/Sailor we have this: https://youtu.be/SmfEIGViDeI?t=55

Bonus End Scene:
Zoltar the Enchanter: We aint done yet. Still got unfinished business, we are coming back for vengeance. We come for you, Azrogorgon! This time... we are doin it... for Johnny!

Kano: Umm, his name was Rattlebones, sir.
 
Zoltar the Enchanter: Whatever! He sends one of ours to the hospital, we send one of his to the morgue.
 
Kano: They actually KILLED Rattlebones.

Zoltar the Enchanter: They did? I saw him dancing with his big potbelly at the end? How did he do that if he was dead?

Kano: I think it was creative license for the end credits. You know... like a flashback, of sorts.

Zoltar the Enchanter: At any rate, saddle up regulators, we got regulating to do. They dont call us the Inglorious Orphans for nothing.

Kano: Bastards, sir.

Zoltar the Enchanter: Lets not get personal, buddy. 

The Battle of Knackerton Prison Camp, Part 2

 The battle for the prison camp continues...

Kano tells Bortai to find the prisoners and get them to the choppa. Vovorlaka menacingly descends from above. 

Bortai: *to the hobbit scouts* Lets take the long way around. Kano can fight his Darth Mauls. 

The hobbit with a mystery Potpie nods and goes with her. But the other scout who Bomb-Pie'd the tower decides to heroically (or foolishly) stay behind and volunteers to squire for Kano. 

Vovorlaka: I thought this was an AAR, but its an origin story. You need people like me so you can point your fingers and say, "That's the bad guy." So... what that make you? Good? You're not good. You just know how to hide, how to lie. Me, I don't have that problem. Me, I always tell the truth. Even when I lie. So say good night to the bad guy!

As Kano advances on Vovorlaka, Mantis jumps out of the shadows and a furious  and deadly match of slashing steel blades begins. Vovorlaka smiles at the Hobbit Scout and turns toward him.

Hobbit Scout: *gulps* Perhaps, I should have left with Bortai.

Bortai and the mystery pie-wielding Hobbit scout make it to the Hobbit House. Bortai sees Orcs and approach from north and east and snap shots at them. Two more Orcs are down for the count.
 

Bortai: Hey hobbit! do you think the prisoners are locked in that house? 

The Hobbit Scout clears his throat and begins singing a verse:

"Hobbits of Harlech, stop your dreaming,
Cant you see their spearpoints gleaming,
see their warrior pendants streaming,
To this battlefield."

Then faintly at first then growing louder a choir of hobbit voices rises from the hobbit house:

"Hobbits of Harlech, stand ye ready,
It cannot be ever said ye,
For the battle were not ready,
Hobbits never yield."

Hobbit Scout Master Hotpie: Huzzah, fellow halflings! Dont you know a jailbreak when you hear one?! It is I, Scout Master Hotpie with some heroes to rescue you lads! And Ive brought some food, some of my secret recipe Hotpies to fortify you lot for the trip to the exfiltration point!

Hobbits in captivity: Huzzah! Scout Master Hotpie! Heroes! Rescue! FOOD! For the Shire!

Stroika is mobbed by Orcs. At least they arent heading towards Bortai and the hobbit house. She will buy them some time to get out of here.

Stroika: Kislev for the Kislevites! They say Charlie dont surf, but Charlie is back and Im taking names! Prepare to meet the wrath of the Iron Curtain!

Orc: You think you can frighten me assassin? I was raised by wargs. My village all died in a plague when I was a baby.

Bortai: Come out Orc! Show me your ass! I mean hands!
Scout Master Hotpie: Why did you say that?
Bortai: I get nervous in these situations. 

The Orc promptly lowers his trousers and moons the heroes.

And Stroika is brought low, but at least she took out another Orc. Stabbbed in the back. Et tu brute?

Kano finally slays Mantis. Now for Vovorlaka, that poor silly Hobbit wont last long against him.

Kano finds the Hobbit already slain. Vengeance is Kano's song now. Prepare for oblivion, foul bloodleech!

Hellgirl Luka and Tomb King Mummy Ra attack Sir Solaire

Solaire: Get behind me my friends, I will tank these villains!

Goldberry and Alpha hold the narrow pass and they crush the Orcs there. But out of the eastern canyon entrance Bugbears come a-bushwhacking. Should have saved a Bomb-Pie to rockslide that canyon. Too late now. 

Goldberry: Hold your ground heroes! Ice witch, that teleport spell better be coming along... because its getting spicy over here.

"Ambush in the night
All guns aiming at me
Ambush in the night
They opened fire on me now
Ambush in the night
Protected by his majesty
Ooh-wee, ooh-wee. Ooh-wa-ooh!
(Ooh-wee) Ooh-wee, ooh-wee (ooh-wa), Ooh-wa!
Ooh-wee, ooh-wee, ooh wa-oh!
Ooh-wee, ooh-wee, ooh wa-ah!"

Rattlebones takes a stand against 3 Orcs. 

Rattlebones: None of you seem to understand. I’m not locked in here with you. You’re locked in here with me!.

Hellgirl Luka is slain, blasted by Zoltar's Fireball spells and sliced by Solaire.  The mummy attacks Zoltar in retaliation.
The Orc Chief is closing in from the north.

"Her name is Luka
She lives on the second floor
She lives upstairs from you
Yes, I think you've seen her before

If you hear something late at night
Some kind of trouble, some kind of fight
Just don't ask me what it was
Just don't ask me what it was
Just don't ask me what it was"

 

And Kano slays Vovorlaka.
 

Vovorlaka: Do you know what the scariest thing is? To not know your place in this world, to not know why you're here. That's - that's just an awful feeling. Now that we know who you are hero, I know who I am. Im not a mistake, it all makes sense. You know how in the stories  you can tell who the archvillain is gonna be? He is the exact opposite of the hero and most times theyre friends like you and me. You cant kill me, Im your origin story! 

Kano takes out a prayer book and some anti-vampiric symbols. He says a few prayers, beheads Vovorlaka, cuts him into pieces, sets him on fire, then finally scatters the ashes. 

Kano: Hmmm, I wonders if thats enough to kill it?

A mist rises from the ashes and flitters away into the sky. Kano will definitely see Vovorlaka again in the future.

 

Bortai and Scout Master Hotpie break the lock of the Hobbit House's cellar door.
And a jumble of Hobbits spill out. Half blind with hunger, fear, and being locked in the basement, their eyes squinting at the brightness of the outdoors. They are hungry, angry, and mean. 

It has been surmised, that perhaps, the Hobbits had become like a wild animals that had been kept too long. Perhaps, but whatever... freedom... so long an unremembered dream, was theirs.

Turnips the Hobbit Witch: Bad form, I say! This is like wrangling wild cats! Ok Hobbits, lets show some dignity here. I know we've been locked up in that basement for a bit. But its time to get ourselves organized!

Hobbit Militia: *coming to attention and straightening themselves out* Yes Ma'am, Lady Turnip!

Turnips the Hobbit Witch and Bortai 

Bortai catches the Hobbit witch up to speed with current events and the escape plan.

Turnips the Hobbit Witch: So, now we got to cross the entire board length  to get to the exit zone?

Bortai: Yup. Scout Master Hotpie has some errr... Hotpies to feed your troops. Better eat up, we got a ways to go before we call this rescue complete.

Turnips the Hobbit Witch: Oh and you should know... the north cellblock is empty. The Dryad Entwives have already been taken to Mordor. Oh and the east cell block has a baby dragon. The Orcs have been cruel to it and are training it to be a war dragon. That nasty Hellgirl Luka has a whip of command to control it. Please release the dragon, so it can fly off to wherever it came from! Do the right thing, wont ya?

Bortai: So your saying we can control the dragon with this... whip of command?

Turnips the Hobbit Witch: I suppose you could. But I think we Hobbits would look at you "heroes" disapprovingly...

Bortai: Well, we cant have that, can we? I was just asking!

Scout Master Hotpie: Come and get it Hobbits! Its Din-Din time. Get your Hotpie here, folks. Form a line!

The Scout Master hands out food rations to hungry hobbits.

 You call this slop? Real slop has chunks of things in it! This is more like gruel. And this Chateau le Blanc '68 is supposed to be served slightly chilled. This is room temperature. What do you think we are... animals?

In the distance Orcs are closing in from behind.

Orc: Stop! Thieves! We've been burgled!

 The foodline continues...

Hungry Hobbit: How many portions of elderberry ice cream did you have?

The Orcs arrive and  slay a Hobbit at the back of the line. The Hobbits begin to scramble over each other squealing to get away. One Hobbit that has already fed on Hotpies knocks out an Orc. Amazing what a difference a halfling Hotpie can do. 

Time to run for the hills, lil buddies!

Zoltar sees a whip of command at Hellgirl Luka's belt
Wonder what thats for?
 

Hobbit Scout: Tieflings are a kinky lot, huh?

The Orc Chief bears down on Bortai, Kano, and Turnips the Hobbit Witch.

Kano: Get yourselves ready for battle! Im already tired from facing down two villains. Im going to need your guys help to bring this big brute down.

But before the Orc Chief can charge the heroes, Scout Master Hotpie and the Hobbit Militia take aim at the Orcs.

Stone them!

The Hobbits are tired of being bullied! No more! They take up their slings and pelt the Orc Chief and his assisstant, leaving him a bloody mess. 

Bortai watches in horror at the sudden Hobbit savagery. 

Never bully a Hobbit!

 

~~~

Next post: Conclusion to the Prison Camp Battle!

The Battle of Knackerton Prison Camp, Part 1

 Welcome to the Battle of Knackerton Prison Camp AAR!

First post of the new year. And its long overdue. The actual game took place sometime before Christmas and is only now seeing the blog.

 

Summary
The Hobbit town of Knackerton in the Brownlands has been overrun by the forces of Darkness and its inhabitants taken captive. The nearby Dryad/Entwife town of Bougainvillea has also been similarly raided. All prisoners are being held in a prison camp. Goldberry and a group of "mercenaries turned heroes" have taken this quest to save and rescue the prisoners. With little time to prepare for the mission, the last Hobbit Scouts have to choose between baking Bomb Pies or Hot Pies (we can explain later). Goldberry must choose to spend her Magic Mana powers to search the minds of the enemy for clues and/or send a telepathic message of help to any allies in range. Alpha the Mercenary crafts 3 Disintegrate Shells for his Crossbow. "This time, disintegrations ARE allowed!", he exclaims. "I can hear you smiling through your helmet," says Goldberry and turns to the rest of the heroes. "We will ride forth in the name of this quest and please... lets not die trying!"

Board Setup
Table size is 22" x 30". Place a canyon area along the east edge and have a valley opening in its center at least 4" wide. Place a tower/ruin in center of board and another one  3" from south-west corner. Place a Hobbit House 5" east of the central tower, a Morr crypt 5" west of it, and another crypt 5" to the north. Place a Tele-Port-Key Statue 2" from the south-east corner.  Place 2 small areas (3" diameter) of rocks, walls, trees.

Deployment
- Place the Orc Chief, Luka the Hellgirl, Mummy-Ra the Tombking and 3 Orcs in central tower/ruin. Place Vovorlaka, Mantis Merc and 3 Orcs in the other tower/ruin. Place 3 patrols (eash patrol consists of 3 Orcs) anywhere else on board south of central tower but not within 6" of any other figures.
- Heroes deploy after villains are placed. They are placed anywhere along the southern board edge.

Reinforcements
See DM Only Info

Special Rules
- Tele-Port-Key Statue: Wizard can begin to activate the Teleportkey at any time. It is ready in 3 turns once started and can be held until ready to use. While being held or preparing to be casted, the wizard must still not be interrupted by moving or attacking. Otherwise, the wizard must then restart Activate Teleport spell again for another 3 turns. Once cast all friendlies in 6" range are teleported. PCs have 2 wizards capable of activating.

Victory Conditions
- Game ends on Turn 8.
- Heroes win if at least half of the Hobbit hostages AND half of all heroes are teleported away. Otherwise villains win.

Left to Right: Vovorlaka and Mantis

Mantis: Uh before we go back to Mordor and sell these Hobbit prisoners, I think we all deserve full shares. I feel the bonus situation has never been on an equitable level.

Vovorlaka: Well, you get what you're contracted for like everyone else.

Mantis: Yeah, but everybody gets more than me.

Vovorlaka: Dont worry, you will get whats coming to you.

Mantis: Cause Im not doing any more guard duty shifts until we are all guaranteed to get full shares.

Vovorlaka: You're guaranteed by Mordor law to get a share... Now knock it off and keep your eye out for intruders!

Below them are another 3 Orc guards.

Orc Guard #1: I agree with Mantis. This is not in my contract to do this kind of duty. Now what about the money? If they want to give me some money to do it, I'll be happy to, y'know, oblige.

Orc Guard #2: There is a clause in our contract that specifically states any systematized transmission indicating a possible intelligent origin must be investigated. On total forfeiture of shares. No money.

Orc Guard #3: All right, we're going in.

Orc Guard #1: Yeah, we're going in, arent we?

Left to Right: Tomb-King Mummy Ra, Hellgirl Luka, and Orc Chief Snotgob

Hellgirl Luka: Uh... Chief. Id like to speak to you. Just take a minute.

Orc Chief Snotgob: Yeah, what is it?

Hellgirl Luka: I got R&R coming up in 3 days. I never asked you for a break, but I was hoping you'd send me out on the chopper, what do you say Chief?

Orc Chief Snotgob: I cant do that for you Red. We need every swinging... uh, sword... in the field.

Hellgirl Luka: Hey Chief, talk to me, come on. Im only asking you for three days.

Orc Chief Snotgob: Im talking to you and Im telling you no. Get back to your position.

Hellgirl Luka: Chief, I gotta bad feeling about this, Im telling you I got a bad feeling man. I dont think Im gonna make it... y'know what I mean?

Orc Chief Snotgob: Everybody got to die sometime, Red. Get back to your foxhole.

Below them are another 3 Orcs.

Orc Guard #1: Glad I aint going with 'em. Somewhere out there is the beast and he hungry tonight... Ten days and a wakeup and Im still dealing with this shit. Man what a bummer.

Orc Guard #2: Whats the matter with you? How come you aint writing no more? You was always writing something home. Looks like youse half a bubble off, Taylor. What about your folks. That grandma you was telling me about? Must be somebody. You been smoking too much shit. Gotta control that. Takes a man down. I remember when you first come out to the bush, you was straight as a

Orc Guard #3: Ever been caught in a mistake and you just cant get out of it?

Orc Guard #2: Just keep your pecker up, your powder dry, the worm will turn. Make it outta here, its all gravy, every day of the rest of your life man - gravy.

3 Orcs near the northern cellblock

3 Orcs in the north east

3 Orcs near the east cell block and the east canyon entrance

Overview of battlefield: the 2 towers, the 3 cell blocks (Hobbit House in the west, north crypt, east crypt) are locations that hold possible hostages. And also the mysterious statue in the south-east.

Left to Right: Goldberry, Rattlebones, Xanthia, Alpha
In the south-east edge of the board some heroes pick their way towards the prison camp.

Goldberry: *telepathically* Ok team, we are at the rendezvous point and ready to go. South-east all clear. Approaching the Tele-Port-Key statue.

The Tele-Port-Key Statue is a remnant of the elder days. Someone's idea of mass transit. The Guild and the Navigators used these statues as beacons for travelling from one waypoint on Middle Earth to another. It was instant teleportation. Of course, you needed to know the incantations and then inhale some orange colored gas.

The beginning was a very delicate time. Know then, that it was in the year 10,191 in the Second Age. At the time, the most precious substance in the universe was the spice - Melange. The spice expands consciousness. The spice is vital to space travel. The orange spice gas gave the ability to fold space - travel to any part of Middle Earth without moving. The Guild and its navigators were mutated by the spice gas and became extinct. And so the knowledge of how to use the statues was lost. But the heroes are hoping to recover its lost secrets as an escape route for their rescue mission today...

Left to Right: Sir Solaire, Zoltar the Enchanter, a Hobbit Scout

Zoltar the Enchanter: Ok, center team is on site. We see the central tower (aka enemy HQ bunker) in the distance.

Sir Solaire: Before us is a place full of dark souls. But we are all righteous knights, warriors of the sun, and guardians of all that is good. We should say a Prayer to the Lord of Sunlight. Then they shall know the brilliance of our Sun!

Left to Right: Bortai, 2 Hobbit Scouts, Kano

Bortai: Speed in finding and escorting the prisoners is of the essence. The open steppe, a fast horse, hawk at your wrist, and wind in your hair.

Kano: I love wind in my hair too! Windblown hair is so 80's! Did we just become best friends?

Hobbit Scout #1: Ok, lets not make this wierd, guys.

Stroika uses her deepstrike ability to deploy behind enemy lines.

Stroika: They tell me to find Hobbit prisoners. But first, I will do what I was born to do. Assassinate Orcs.

Before the battle properly starts, Goldberry uses her pre-game psionic powers.  She sends out a Psychic Summons, hoping that some wandering allies will hear her cry for help.

Then she begins her Scrying spell to eavesdrop on the following locations: the center tower (enemy HQ bunker), Hobbit House in the west, and the north cell block. In the north cellblock, Goldberry hears the sound of dead leaves on the dirty ground. DM makes a mistake by then saying that Goldberry hears the sound of puppylike whimpering of a baby dragon coming out of the Hobbit House. Oh, sorry, actually she hears the hopeful yet simple-minded singing of Hobbits in captivity. So now the heroes also know what is heard in the eastern cell block. Oops.

Finally, Goldberry, listens in to the enemy HQ and overhears the Orc Chief commanding Luka the Hellgirl to check on the patrols around the perimeter. She salutes him and says she will take the Mummy with her on her rounds.

The center team assaults the enemy HQ.
A hobbit scout reveals his secret weapon that he has crafted/baked in his pre-game preparation time - a Bomb-Pie! He flings it at the enemy HQ as flames explode out of it.

Hobbit Scout: *holding a Hobbit Pie* I am Enzo the baker. For your father... for your father.

The firebomb blast aftermath. Two Orcs slain. A klaxon alarm sounds and alerts all enemies near and far that they are under attack! The Orc Chief Snotgob, jumps out back. While Hellgirl Luka and the Mummy Tomb King Ra jump out the east side.

Orc Chief Snotgob: Fear! Fire! Foe!

2nd firebomb attack on the south-west tower. Both Vovorlaka and Mantis are wounded.

Hobbit Scout: Fire is your friend!

Stroika assassinates her first victim

Xanthia begins her initial assessment of the Tele-Port-Key statue.

Goldberry: Are you sure you can reverse-engineer this ancient technology?

Xanthia: Are you sure you got me covered? I cant be disturbed once I start the incantations.

Goldberry: Well then, now that you say mention it... can you send one offensive spell to cover us as we move into position?

Goldberry and company go looking for trouble. Xanthia casts an Ice Blast and freezes some orcs.

Goldberry: All right, Ice Witch, start your spell, we got this.

~~~

Next post: The Battle continues...