Cabin In The Woods Of The Evil Dead

 This is Professor Raymond Knowby, Department of Ancient History, log entry number two. I believe I have made a significant find in the Castle of Candar. Having journeyed there with my wife Henrietta, my daughter Annie and Associate Professor Ed Getly. It was in the rear chamber of the castle that we stumbled upon something remarkable.

Morturom Demonto, the "Book of the Dead". My wife and I brought the book to this cabin where I could study it undisturbed. It was here that I began the translations. The book speaks of a spiritual presence. A thing of evil that roams the forests and the dark bowers of man's domain. It is through the recitation of the book's passages that this dark spirit is given license to possess the living. Included here are the phonetic pronunciations of those passages. "Cunda astratta montose eargrets gutt nos veratoos canda amantos canda".

 ~

Take a vacation. Get away from it all. Turn off the noggin and get some grogging they said.

 Who doesnt love a creepy old cabin in the haunted desolate woods? They were wrong. Dead wrong. Never sleep in a cursed cabin down by the river. Or forest.

The travel agent who booked you this spot was probably a Dead-ite. Or of Candarian descent!

Whatever you do, do not turn on the audio reel recorder where the old professor is reading passages from the Necronomicon Ex-Mortis - The Book of the Dead. Oh you already did?

Well, I guess you might as well listen to the rest of it...

It's only been a few hours since I've translated and spoken aloud the first of the demon resurrection passages from the Book of the Dead. And now I fear that my wife has become host to a Candarian Demon. May God forgive me for what I have unleashed unto this earth. Last night Henrietta tried to... kill me.

It's now October 1st, 4:33 PM. Henrietta is dead. I could not bring myself to dismember her corpse. But I dragged her down the steps... and I buried her. I buried her in the cellar. God help me, I buried her in the earthen floor of the fruit cellar.

Left to Right: Prince Arioch, Balthazar the Blue, Adeline

Some unfortunate adventurers have stumbled upon the cabin in the woods.

Prince Arioch: I told you we should have made a left at Albuquerque! 

Balthazar the Blue: Well being as there's no other place around this place, I reckon this must be the place. Where is the rest of our adventuring party?

Adeline: They are still back at our last campsite... re-speccing their talent trees again. *sigh*

Balthazar the Blue: Ah, well... anyway lets inspect the area. Let's split up and scout the area. I get a feeling there are important clues to be found in this place!

Balthazar finds a clue all right. Or rather a riddle. What's full of tentacles and hungry maws. Its a Dark Young of Shub-Niggurath!

Potent Potables, Colors That End In "urple", An Album Cover. Sean Connery its still your board.

Balthazar the Blue: I'll take An Album Cover for 5,000 

(bonus points to the readers who indeed know the answer to "colors that end in 'urple")

Adeline: I remember this game! I need to find two mirrors and put them on the statues, right?  

(extra bonus points to the readers who know the name of this old PC game that Adeline is referencing)

Prince Arioch: Ermahgerd berber Herperpertermerse!

(extra special bonus points to the reader who knew the pics that accompany this old meme. Before you googled it!)

Balthazar the Blue: Ok, we need a plan. Let me think... whats a good strategy?

Prince Arioch: I got one. If I have to die, Im gonna die last!

Adeline: He's not talking to you hammerhead.

Balthazar the Blue: We need time area. Backstage good. We do it! Razzle Dazzle!

Adeline: -.-

~~~

Oh, I forgot to mention the cabin is from Printable Scenery  printablescenery.com

Oh, and did you notice my new forest background? Its pretty spot on, for the cabin's background, if I say so myself!

Cheers,

Mar

Turnips the Hobbit Witch & Hagglethorne House

In this post, we have a Hagglethorn House, a Hobbit Witch in a flying cauldron with an "aviation goggle wearing" pig, and some Hobbit Militia with slings. Things you dont see everyday...

 

  The Brownlands should be called the Greenlands now due to its flowering under the green and caring thumbs of both Entwives and Hobbits. They have lived in peace, harmony, and safety.

Turnips the Hobbit Witch and Gus the Pig familiar

Turnips is a Hobbit Witch and the guardian of the Brownlands which has become a Hobbit and Dryad-Entwife settlement. The twin villages of the area are Bougainvillea (an Entwife farm/garden) and Knackerton (a Hobbit pipeweed dispenary/outpost).

Turnips and her pet pig Gus usually ride around in a magically levitating cauldron. When not being used as a vehicle, the cauldron serves double duty for brewing potions then making dinner (usually Hassenpfeffer stew with taters). 

 

Hobbit Scout: Fear! Fire! Foe!

Turnips the Witch: What is it now? Let me guess. Wild pigs in the Gaffer's garden? Or the Entwives need rain on Tuesday again?

Hobbit Scout: No, Miss Turnips. Orcs! They're on their way here! And lots of them! They have overrun Bougainvillea. The Dryads have been taken captive!

Turnips the Witch: Sound the townhall bell! Call the militia to arms! Barricade the streets with pipeweed barrels. *looks at her pet pig* Cmon Gus, we need to send owls and ravens to Minas Tirith and East Bight. That is, if they survived the Chaos incursion there (see Battle of East Bight: http://mars-miniatures.blogspot.com/2021/11/town-defense-of-east-bight-battle.html).

Hobbit Scout: There is like an 8% chance, that the defenders of East Bight survived.

Turnips the Witch: 8? Who taught you math!

 

The Hobbit Militia of the Brownlands are rangers, hunters, skirmishers and mushroom foragers without peer. They carry slings and turn any rocks in the area into missile weapons. These miniatures are plastic figures from Wargames Atlantic.

*clamor of bell and sounding of horns*

Hobbit Militia:  Yavanna defend our homes! O mighty Valar save us from our enemies! 

The Hagglethorne house is sculpted by a guy who works for WETA Workshop - the company who made the props for Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings movies.

 I think their architecture here looks like it also fits in the world of Labyrinth or a pre-Skeksis Dark Crystal (like a Pod people tavern?)

~~~

Is everyone hurt? Is anyone okay?

If you read the East Bight AAR and the ending fluff, then you already know what happened to Witch Turnips, the Hobbit Militia, and the Entwives. They were defeated and put into prison camps. But fear not! Or I dunno, maybe be a little fearful for them. So, the defenders of East Bight hired a mercenary band known as the Rogues of Rhun and were victorious over the Chaos warriors. And they are on their way to liberate Witch Turnips and the rest of the prison camp-ers! The Battle of the Brownlands Prison Camp Battle Report is coming soon-ish. (well after the Moria Hollin-Gate Cthulhic Adventure which btw is sure to end in some tragic doom and certain woe!)

Cheers,
Mar